Wild Horses
by Megwill
Summary: What yesterdays could have been and what tomorrows could bring. Angela and Bren talk of her 'issues'..."Wild horses why can't I be like you? Throwing caution to the wind I'll run free too, wish I could love like I recklessly wanted too..." Ditp mentioned


Angela and Brennan had gone to a club called Reckless Angela said they had an excellent live band and tonight's was going to be no exception. Brennan had agreed to go besides Booth was with Hannah. For once Dr. Temperance Brennan decided to oblige her friend's wishes and let the dead rest among their own while she went out with the living. What could it hurt? She couldn't hurt much more, could she? She hoped not and walked into the club which was more like a local pub.

Angela and she sat down while Bren ordered a drink and Ange ordered what she had been craving lately, tea tasted so good right now that one would have thought the child was conceived in the South not Europe.

"So, what do you think of the place Bren?" asked Angela as they waited on their drinks.

Brennan looked around and watched a brunette that looked about eighteen or maybe even too young to even be in the pub take the stage with an acoustic guitar. The young girl reminded Brennan a bit of herself around that age. The long brown hair, piercing blue eyes and the shy yet I don't care what you think of me apparent demeanor about her.

"Bren?" Angela followed Brennan's eyes to the teenage girl taking the stage and she smiled a bittersweet smile as she quiet herself of the previous topic of the club. "She's good I've seen her sing before, she plays well too." said Angela.

Brennan turned and looked at Angela giving her a small smile then turned back to the girl who was testing her microphone.

"Hi everyone I'm Cat and this is _Wild Horses_ by Natasha Bedingfield." The teenage girl looked over to a man on stage and nodded. Then she started strumming on her guitar. It was when she opened her mouth the pub became a bit quieter.  
_  
I feel these four walls closing in  
Face up against the glass  
I'm looking out, hmmm  
Is this my life I'm wondering  
It happened so fast  
How do I turn this thing around  
Is this the bed I chose to make  
There's greener pastures I'm thinking about  
Hmm, wide open spaces far away_

Angela watched a bit sad as her friend suddenly was drawn into every word the teenage girl uttered. How the song that Angela knew mimicked Bren's life and her emotions dealing with love was now affecting her friend as she stare oblivious to the rest of the pub at the teenage girl on stage.

_All I want is the wind in my hair  
To face the fear but not feel scared_

The acoustic guitar and small local pub atmosphere brought happy memories back to Angela. Memories of crazy teenage days and then their were the memories of her father and his band playing all hours of the night, while she had tried to sleep but couldn' she would wander downstairs.

The guys in her dad's band were like her uncle's and at six she was convinced she was the best singer in the world. As they play and she belted out their latest 'little something' in her pajamas at two am on a school night.

Though, today as Ange look at her best friend silently watching the teenage girl on stage in a trance like state she knew Bren most likely wasn't thinking of happier times. Especially when Booth was with Hannah and Angela knew deep down that is where Bren really wanted to be, is with him.  
_  
wild horses I wanna be like you  
going closer to the wind, I'll run free too  
Wish I could recklessly love like I'm longing to  
I wanna run with the wild horses  
Run with the wild horses, oh_  
_  
whoahh Yeah, oh oh, ye-yeah_

Yes, Angela knew her friend probably wasn't thinking of too many happy times with a song like this one playing. Plus, being sung by a girl Bren probably "irrationally" wished she could have been at one time had to make it worse. For on stage was a happy teenage girl singing with her friends in the audience. Angela had a feeling Brennan rarely even sang in the shower but she had a feeling that she wanted too.

_I see the girl I wanna be  
Riding bare-back, care-free  
Along the shore  
If only that someone was me  
Jumping head-first, head-long  
Without a thought  
To act and damn the consequence  
How I wish it could be that easy  
But fear surrounds me like a fence  
I wanna break free_

Brennan watch the teenage girl's finger's carefully strum the guitar. The girl's voice was mesmerizing one could really hear the lyrics. She understood that the song was a metaphor to fearing love and that the song could or did easily apply to how she felt about her and Booth or just her in general.

She did wish she could love without fear and consequence, that love could be easy, and that there were no such things as blonde haired journalists in Afghanistan...though that was beside the point. The point was _she_ wished she could for once in her life let her heart take the lead instead of her ever logical brain. Ignorance is bliss, right? She told herself Angela did a fine job of wishing and wanting for the both of them.  
_  
All I want is the wind in my hair  
To face the fear, but not feel scared  
_

Yes, as Brennan not only listened but really _heard_ the words the girl sings she suddenly realized just how scared of love she was. More importantly just how much she didn't want to feel that way anymore._  
_

_Oooh, wild horses I wanna be like you  
Throwing caution to the wind, I'll run free too  
Wish I could recklessly love like I'm longing to_  
I wanna run with the wild horses  
_Run with the wild horses, oh_

Angela sigh and order another drink although Bren was oblivious to the waitress as she watched the teenage girl on stage a longing in her eye as if she wished that could have been her.

As if her past wasn't a broken one which made her look for love in all of the wrong places as a teenager and into her adult life. Though, maybe, just maybe, in an ethereal world. Where no one in her life ever left her and true love was real-maybe she could find that love, dance, song and happiness Booth spoke of so passionately.

She wanted to love so badly and she knew it. No, she _felt_ it but deep inside she just couldn't let herself go. Let her heart take over and put her brain in neutral as Booth had once said.

She couldn't take her walls down even for the one man that she knew deep down she truly loved-she was too scared. Though, she had come to realize this and wanted to say something to Booth because she didn't want to end up dying with regrets like Lauren had.

_I wanna run too.  
ohhh ohhh_

_recklessly abandoning my self before you_

_I wanna open up my heart tell him how I feel_

_woah woah_

Angela shift in her seat as she watched Brennan again taking in the acoustic and the lyrics drifting throughout the pub. The teenager's voice was angelic and had soul to it at the same time. She reminded Angela of Sarah McLachlan and Sara Bareilles mixed together a bit. Angela decided the girl couldn't have chosen a better song that night.

Brennan thought to herself a moment as the girl continues to sing and she knew what she needed to do. She just had to find a time and place to tell him. She wasn't going to end up like Lauren. She decided dying with a rejection would be much better than dying with any regret.

_Wild horses I wanna be like you  
Throwing caution to the wind  
I'll run free too  
Wish I could recklessly love, like I'm longing too  
I wanna run with the wild horses,  
run with the wild horses, run with the wild horses_

Angela saw Brennan smile a very small smile and noticed a light shining in her eyes. She wondered what it was about but didn't ask, not yet anyway. Angela still had respect for fellow artists and Cat was still singing and was quite a hit in the pub so Angela kept quiet.

_ohh woah ohh woah  
Yeeaaaah_

_I wanna run with the wild horses_

The song now over whistling, shouting and applause were about in the pub as Cat spoke into the mic. "Thanks guys ten minutes and we're going to start off with some good old 'Pour Some Sugar on Me.'"

Angela smile at the girl's words and at back at Brennan who turned to face her, apprehension written all over her face.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" Angela asked clearly concerned.

"I'm going to tell him." Brennan announced to her best friend.

"Tell him…?" Angela was a bit confused by Brennan's head first jump into a topic that Brennan would usually steer clear of at all cost. Was her friend really saying and meaning what she thought she was?

"Tell Booth how I feel about him." Brennan reiterated what she meant to her best friend and asked the waitress for another drink. Angela just watched for she was a bit taken aback by this new Brennan.

"So, you are saying you do in fact love Booth and I don't mean in a 'we're just partners way'?"

"Yes, I want to tell him how I feel Angela I don't want to have any regrets." Brennan sounded a bit winded or serious, maybe both? Her voice was subconsciously and slightly raised, her tone frustrated.

"Okay, well when or wherever you plan on telling him remember he is in a relationship Bren. Though, that shouldn't stop you from getting what you feel off of your chest. If you never say it then you will still feel it and where is the sense in that?"

The waitress came with Brennan's jack and coke and an unsweetened tea. Hey, they were up north, there was no sweet tea. Angela grab the packets of sugar and started to empty several into her drink stirring them as Brennan spoke.

"I still haven't closed Lauren's case I think I know what happened. I may see him at the Jeffersonian tomorrow." Brennan said unsure of her words.

"Tell him at work? No, no you will not spill your heart out to Booth at work." Angela said as she shook her head no and drank the tea quickly. Brennan sighed and sunk in her chair a bit sipping on her jack and coke.

"Then where do I tell him Ange?"

Angela felt so bad for her best friend she was so utterly confused, scared and just plain lost right now. Yet, at the same time she was just finding herself, conquering her fears, and straightening this saga of a soap opera out.

"You will know sweetie, you will just know." Said Angela, as the beginning of Def Leppard's 'Pour Some Sugar on Me' started to fill the pub. The two women looked at the stage. One woman reminiscing of her childhood then wondering what the childhood of the little one she carries will be like.

What childhood memories will her child reminisce of when he is her age? While the other woman wonder about tomorrow and what it would bring. Hoping it would be good yet logically knowing that 50/50 percentages didn't usually turn out good. Booth was either going to feel the same or he wasn't, that was that.

Angela's words didn't offer Brennan much comfort that night, she didn't really understand what 'you will just know' meant. Though, the next night as she sat in the passenger's seat next to Booth as he drove in the pouring rain, she understood their meaning.

She had done it and she said it, jumped head first and damned the consequences. She had told him and for a heartbeat she had felt the wind in her hair. She had been _that girl, _the girl singing on stage and knowing what it felt like to face her fears and stand in front of an audience bearing her naked soul without trembling in fear. The girl sang from her heart and that night so did Brennan.

Yes, for a heartbeat she had felt all of her walls fall down. Every board had broke releasing her to wide open spaces where her heart was able to lead the way and logic was recklessly abandoned-if only for a heartbeat she had felt what Booth spoke of that night long ago.

While she may not have found a dance, she had found her singing voice and she had sung like no one was listening and it felt good. She had kicked down the boards that fenced her in and ran once again. Only this time, for the first time she wasn't running away from the fear. For she had _conquered it _there was no longer a need for her to run from her own heart anymore. The boards had fallen and now she was free to love how she wanted too.

After speaking with Micah and remembering that everyone has their own sad story. She also remembered in life many pages were still unwritten begging entry just as in her next novel. Only this time in her novel if and when, Andy left his ex and he and Kathy were reunited. Kathy would be able to love how she longed too, fearless and free. She had conquered the hard stuff and now it was Andy's turn to decide if he truly liked the song that he was dancing too.

* * *

review? okay...horrid...tell me what you think like or hate. ;) Meg


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